Urban dictionary list Mom -Shaming as “Criticizing or degrading a mother for her parenting choices because they differ from the choices the shamer would make. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mom-shaming

Lately I have seen an abundance of mom-shaming. I see it when I am out and about, I see it in workplaces, and I see it online in mom groups. I often wonder why. Why would another mom shame another mom? I am a new mo. I have questions I want to post on my mom groups but often keep them to myself for fear of being mom shammed. I thought I left that in high school. It’s like a new age Mean Girls. When did it become socially acceptable to make a mother feel bad for her choices/questions one may have? When did this become OK? I thought mom groups were to support one another in the journey of motherhood. A lot of mothers seek support from those groups because many of us do not have a village. Those groups are our village.

It breaks my heart when I see a mother ask for help or a suggestion. What is worse, when another mom defends the mom from the mom that is shamming and then she gets shammed in return. It has happened to me personally. I have even seen it go as far as one mom taking a screen shot of another moms Facebook profile or a photo of mom/nanny and post it on a group with what ever they think that mom or nanny is doing wrong. Then I read all the other mothers jump on the bandwagon. We can be honest, most of us have jumped on that bandwagon. Everyone has their two cents.

It is one thing if it involves child endangerment or the endangerment of the mother. That is a whole other issue. But the whole ” Do you see this child crying and the mom on her phone not caring” or my favorite “The nanny is not even paying attention to the child, DO YOU KNOW THIS NANNY?” is getting out of hand. We all know what I am talking about. Seeing those just make me say to myself “Lady, where is your child and why are you not watching him/her instead of shaming others”

I believe that each child is different in their own way and each situation is different. I personally co sleep right now with my child, he is 8 months old, very strong for his age per his doctor, and still nursing on top of teething right now. We all need our sleep since I work so early in the morning and my husband has to be up with him all day (SAHD). Some may not agree with how my husband and I have it in our household, but they also don’t know the situation. Do they know that we tried sleep training and hearing my little one scream mama while in tears ripped me into pieces? Do they care that my child sleeps 6 hours solid while next to me versus 2-3 hours in his crib? Like I said, each situation is different. What works for one family, may not work for another and that should be OK.

Instead of mom shamming, we need to come together as a whole. Be each others village. Help one another and offer kindness instead of rude comments about how we should parent or handle situations. We are all in this together. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. It is what makes us unique and also perfect in our child’s eyes.

Posted by:The not so perfect, perfect mommy

New mom here! Just learning how to be the best mom I can be. Between working full time, keeping my other business alive (I am a candle maker), and now blogging, I am learning how to juggle it all. Thank goodness for my husband who works from home and is a great support system. I hope you enjoy this site :)

8 replies on “New age “Mean Girls”

  1. i agree with every word! moms are each others biggest cheerleaders and worst enemies. we should always come together to help each other and support each other. after all, we ALL want the best for our child!

    Like

  2. Amen. Hurt people hurt people. This article is why I am so persistent in seeking what is best for my family alone. I like to learn from other moms and there is great advice out there, but we have to do what is best for us.

    Like

  3. Yes, yes, yes, yes!!! I would write more yes’s if it wouldn’t be super annoying, haha! But I’m so with you on this and have written a few posts that follow the same thought process. I am blessed to have beautiful Mom friends in my life that are so good about supporting one another, which means I can stay off a lot of the Mom boards… but I too have seen the terrible things Mom say and do online! I agree that we should really all stay in our own lane and be supportive of one another. Momming is hard enough without worrying about people judging you! Thanks for a great post!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.